Nate is at the barn with me a lot more. I think he feels like he needs to protect me, which I am grateful. Yesterday when Martha was in the stall, she wanted to come out. Nate stood in the stall doorway with his back to her. Martha would put her huge head over his shoulder and stand there waiting. She didn't push. When I stood in the doorway, I would face her and have my hands up blocking her. Nate asked me, "Why are you doing that?" My response was, "to stop her."
"Why don't you stand in the doorway like I did?" He said looking at me smugly like he had it all figured out.
"I told you earlier that I was intimidated by her size. I'm having a hard time. I haven't started trusting her yet." Oh, why did I tell him that I was intimidated?
"Just try what I did." Nate coaxed me on..."Stand in the doorway facing out. See what she does."
I tried it. It was hard not to face her. I wanted to swing around and protect myself by putting my hands in her face to keep her away, but I stood firm. I felt her huge presence behind me. I could see her head out of the corner of my eye. She was wanting out, but she just put her head over my shoulder like she had done with Nate. She didn't even touch me.
Horses teach me. If I are willing to hang around and work with them, they will help transform me into a stronger person. They help me realize that my power does not necessarily come from outward strength and size, but inward confidence and knowledge.
Horses have a language and I am still learning it. Martha is pushing me to learn it more that any other horse I've known.